4. Facetious . using or creating
exaggerated or skewed data, information, etc.: creative bookkeeping.
ahh yes, that feels much better.
Growing up you always match the word, "Artist" with folks like Michelangelo, Van Gogh, or Monet. All of which are highly credible and masters of their own work. However, they all come from the same artistic background... They were born this way. (you're humming Lady Gaga now, aren't you?) God implanted the gift of art IN them, and I'm sure once they first started out, they too had doubts about calling themselves "artists". And I wonder if they ever felt like they mastered their craft.
We are our own worst critics. Once we reach the point of satisfaction, its drifts away faster than we can grab it and hold on to it. Its gone before we've even realized satisfaction was sitting at our door step. Why? Because we're always after something greater; achieving what was once a dream, and testing our boundaries.
While in the midst of doing all of the said above, we are confronted with the term "artist" by either peers or complete strangers. Time stands still, and our minds go blank. "Who me?? ha. Nahhhhh. I just love what I do." But what DO YOU DO? You create. You artistically conform and conjure up some pretty wicked goodness, whether you're proud of it or not, you created it; its yours; you birthed it. Which ultimately makes YOU an ARTIST. And you know what? Not everybody has to like YOUR form of ART, but it is what is is... ART.
Before I began my photographic journey, to be very very honest, I never saw myself sitting in an actual office setting. As fun as that is for some (and I'm not being sarcastic), its not me. I always knew I was made for more, and as horrible as they may sound, I promise no job is beneath me, because I will praise Him anyway, however, I somehow knew that being in an office wasn't my calling. (and it still may be in the future, but not in this very moment). As soon as my feet heal, I'll be looking to get a part-time... hoping at a preschool somewhere. I want to be around kids more, and feel that in this way, I'll be able to give back, which has been heavy on my heart lately; there's just so many benefits to this!
Now, please don't get me wrong here, because there are in fact creative office settings, and there are in fact ways you can be creative, and give back creatively within your job, but for me, personally, I feel God is using me in a different manner. Although we are all made in His image, our journey is not all the same. The rewarding destination, however? Yes. {ps. creativity is in the eye of the beholder}
Once I began my photographic journey, I began to realize that yeah, I loveeee all that artsy fartsy stuff! Its so ME. I love design, imagination, and the spirit of which it all derives. Its fascinating and it gives me the warm fuzzies. And then I began to notice it wasn't just on the outside that I enjoyed all of this stuff, but, it was on the inside, too. I enjoy whacky colors, and for as long as I can remember I always always enjoyed interior decorating. I used to decorate and re-arrange my bedroom just about every 6 months or so when I was in middle school, and even before then, I knew what symmetry was, and that I was addicted. I knew what balance was, and how it was a must with umm...just about everything, one way or another. I knew that I loved to take pictures, and people actually thought they were good... good enough for me to actually somewhat kinda sorta believe what they thought. ha. I've always loved HAIR, and styling it, and never getting my hair cut the same, because I don't like "same"; I like different. I like different results, and I thrive on results and finished product! I knew that although my own fashion didn't convey my love for fashion, either way, I knew it made me happy on the inside and got me excited about piecing odd with even more odd. I knew that "typical" wasn't apart of my vocabulary, and I also knew that being bored was just plain boring. I knew that my perfectionism didn't just apply to my color coordinated closet, but to how I arranged even my drawer of silverware. I knew I lived my life through lyrics. I knew that my curtains had to hang a certain way and be a certain distance from each other. Some may call this OCD, but I call this visual satisfaction! My atmosphere was my creative outlet.... always.
....I can go on, but my point is, I was created by my Creator to be a creative being. Its been in my blood for as long as I can remember, but
It has finally hit me.
I may not be as good as some may think, but to me, I AM GOOD. I am never fully satisfied, but GOOD, I am. And I'm not afraid to announce that! {yes, toot toot}
I recently read a quote stating that if you don't know how to explain something, then you simply don't know it. I find this completely false.
You know when I first started school (and this is an entirely different post), I couldn't explain WHY I positioned my subjects in my images the way I did, I just knew it felt natural, and it happened naturally. Later, I came to realize there was a term for this so called, "Rule of Thirds". We were later asked to define this, and my mind went blank. I didn't know how, I just knew HOW. It happened without my thinking... it just was. Now, I'm not boasting here, but I am explaining rather, what is... natural.
Its okay to naturally love what I do, and its okay to be PROUD of what I do. Its okay to admit, "I'm a photographer." and its okay to shamelessly fill out paper work, as"self employed".
It is what I do. It is what God has called me to do, and its taken me a good 5+ years to slowly figure this out. Not to mention this is only the BEGINNING... I have no clue where He is taking me next, but I'm ready, and always preparing and searching.
Your calling may not be like mine, but it is YOURS. My husband has um zero artsy fartsy fibers in him {although, he can curl some mean curly ribbon}, but he is the best mathematician, people person I have ever met, and God has used him in so many different ways throughout his career. Its amazing to see and witness. (ps. Machining is an art form, in my opinion)
Don't miss your calling in fear of owning it.
